Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Important scientific finding confirms ancient biblical events - The Brighter Side of News

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

How do you say "have fun" in French?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Sweden’s Maja Stark wins U.S. Women’s Open for first major championship - NBC Sports

I can count

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Who believes that Speaker Mike Johnson will certify ‘a free and fair and legal election'? Who believes that Speaker Mike Johnson will NOT certify ‘a free and fair and legal election'? Why?

I can read

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

If women aren't shallow, why do most tall, good-looking men have girlfriends?

I understand how hurricane paths work

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy bullshit

What caused the Democratic Party's 2024 presidential campaign to implode so horrifically?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Those Ice Baths May Not Be 'a Great Idea' - Newser

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Checkers Sweep Laval to Earn Trip to Calder Cup Finals - Charlotte Checkers Hockey

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I actually pay taxes

The New Twist In Regeneron's 23andMe Bankruptcy Buyout - Investor's Business Daily

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Suspect in custody after 11 stabbed at Oregon homeless services provider - NBC News

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Tom Girardi Sentenced to 7 Years in Prison on His 86th Birthday - Vulture

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I see through liars

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: